Does hate drives us?
I don’t know about everyone. But deep somewhere I know whenever I’ve felt that I am tumbling down the abyss while believing that the things that can go wrong will go wrong; hating someone has helped.
Blaming someone or something, making them or it a reason for the difficulty I was facing has always given me an anchor. Something to hold on to.
Now, Hate, everyone would argue is a negative word. It’s a negative feeling. To tell you all the truth, I would agree to all that.
But, just humor me for a while.
I have felt that whenever it enrages you, it empowers you too. I have never understood it.
I am also sure that if you look back you could also find an instance in your life which brought about a monumental change, pushed you to push yourself. Brought you to where you are.
Some would call it your willpower. Some would call it your dream. But if we are being honest, somewhere in the darkest of corners of that willpower or dream, hate was the real fuel.
Hate was the real reason that made you aggressive. Someone, some thing or some happening gave you a purpose. Taunted you from the other side of the riverbank to go against the current and cross it.
The only thing that I hate about hate is that an achievement never feels like an achievement. Everything we acquire or accomplish loses its meaning, its worth. Sometimes a year later, sometimes a day later, and sometimes a second later; you feel that this isn’t enough.
I won’t hide that hate has driven me. But looking back I will also say that hate clouded what I really wanted. Or what I really needed. It was the hate, that changed my path and moreover the destination.
In that rage, I just wanted to prove that I can do. I can reach. I can make it happen. Without deliberating whether I want it or not. Without realizing that maybe, just maybe the destination, the desire, the purpose was something else.
Somewhere along the path, with those red burning eyes, that frenzy, I missed the turn. The actual path. I really don’t know whether I am right or wrong.
Or whether the turn is coming up ahead and hence this epiphany.
See; I have found yet another someone to blame, to hate – and this time it is HATE.